In fact, it's fair to say that I had fallen head over heels in love with him. "Now it's your turn." Rick didn't have to be told twice. His black body sparkled – he looked like an Olympic athlete.
Yes, he was tall, dark and handsome – just like he said. It's just such a shock for me." I suddenly realised that Rick had given me plenty of indications that he was black.
I didn't think I was a racist, but maybe I was, because there was no way I was going to have any kind of relationship with this man – no way.
I just can't believe the wonderful person I've been chatting with for so long could turn out to be like this. When my mother called me for dinner, I told her I wasn't feeling well.
There were tears in my eyes now, but even then, I couldn't help but notice the lithe athleticism of his body. I went home, shattered, and lay on my bed for hours.
It's hard for me to explain the reason I reacted the way I did. I'd like to try again and get to know the person you are without any of my bigotry getting in the way.
You probably don't want to talk with me or even chat with me again, but I would like to see you.
You liked the man you chatted with on the net, but now that you see he's a black man, so you don't like him any more." I was mortified – mainly because he was right.
I started thinking, why had I chosen this deserted section of the park to meet him? And I thought – yes, the same old stereotype – that because he was black he might drag me into the bushes and rape me.
It felt so good in his strong arms that I couldn't believe I had been so bad to him. I kept telling her I was visiting friends, when really I was seeing Rick any time I could. Rick was studying medicine and had a small apartment near the university. No, I wasn't a virgin, but I'd never been with a black man and I was afraid – yes, the old prejudices coming through – that he might be too rough with me. I looked around, pleased to see he wasn't one of those students who lived like pigs.