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This is technically suspenseful but you have to be pretty generous about it.Episode 239: Local Girl Mysteriously Disappears An undead ghoul from the 18th century kidnaps a waitress from the local coffee shop, puts her in his dead girlfriend’s wedding dress and takes her on a make-believe date. Episode 240: Open House We review the appropriate security protocol for vampires who have a hypnotized girl on the premises. Snuffleupagus Another etiquette lesson for the criminally insane: How to react when you find uninvited guests hanging out in your house with your brainwashed girlfriend. Woodard thinks he’s going to find out who kidnapped Maggie by looking at her blood tests. Woodard shows up at the Old House and asks Willie for another blood sample, which is a totally normal thing that doctors do.You know, those things in that room in the basement. She’ll probably find it in the last place she looks.

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What are people doing in Collinsport that they’re too busy to notice Episode 249: That Room with Those Things Liz and Jason finally let Carolyn and Roger into that room in the basement, and everybody walks around on Paul’s grave.

Episode 250: Exit Strategy Maggie the Vampire Slayer takes action, recruiting Willie into helping her knock some sense into Barnabas.

We go through the checklist, plus: triple backacting.

Episode 228: Those Things in That Room What things? Epsiode 229: Thirst World Problems Maggie’s lost a lot of blood.

Also, Sam Evans has 22 words to say; let’s see how many he can remember before the end of the scene.

Episode 223: The Me/You Fun Gap The AFTRA strike of April 1967 takes its toll on the cast, as Liz putters around, Burke sets his wristwatch, and David complains about the air.

Episode 224: The Late Shift David hears dogs, Jason makes insinuations, and Maggie has some pretty sweet dreams.

Episode 225/226: Fangs for Nothing The end of today’s episode is a huge exciting milestone, which they screw up completely.

Episode 220: Never Drink Wine Willie demonstrates a common soap opera malady called EPCP, or Excessive Pre-Commercial Pausing. Episode 221: Mystery Date Maggie meets a tall, dark stranger, and Barnabas gets cane-blocked.

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